Grief support
Grief Support After a Death: Where to Find Help
Reviewed by the Plainfare editorial team · Updated August 15, 2026
There is no right way to do this and no schedule you are behind on. If you want someone to talk to, support exists, and a good deal of it costs nothing. This guide starts with the help that is already paid for, because that is the part most families never find out about. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is free and it is answered any hour of the day.
Start with the support that is already paid for
If the person who died was in hospice, ask the hospice first. A Medicare-certified hospice is required to make bereavement services available to the family for up to a year after the death, under 42 CFR 418.64(d)(1)(ii). What that looks like varies by hospice, commonly some mix of counseling, groups, and phone check-ins. Call them and ask what they offer and whether anything is charged for it.
If the death was a service member or a veteran, VA Vet Centers provide bereavement counseling to family members at no cost. Eligibility covers families of Armed Forces personnel who died in the service of the country, Reservists and National Guard members who died while on duty, service members and veterans who died by suicide, and veterans who were receiving Vet Center services at the time of death where the death was unexpected or happened while they were receiving hospice or similar care. That last condition matters, so it is worth checking against your own situation before you call rather than after.
If you are working, ask your employer whether they have an employee assistance program, what it includes, and whether it covers family members. If the person who died was employed, their employer is worth the same question. These programs are easy to forget and the answer takes one email to find out.
If you have health insurance, ask what your plan covers for counseling, what a session would cost you, and whether you need a referral first. Ask before the first appointment rather than after it.
Free support near you
Hospitals, hospices, faith communities, funeral homes, and local nonprofits run bereavement groups, and many of them are open to anyone rather than only to their own patients or members. Some are general, and some are specific: groups for people who lost a spouse, a child, a parent, or someone to suicide or overdose. A specific group is often worth travelling further for.
A support group is not therapy and is not trying to be. It is a room of people who have had the year you have had, which is a different kind of useful. Plenty of people do both, and plenty do only one.
Our grief counselor listings show who is nearby and what kind of support they offer, including group sessions. Ask any group whether it is free, whether it is open or closed to new members, and whether it is led by a trained facilitator or by peers. All three answers are fine ones; you just want to know which you are walking into.
If you want to talk to a professional
Ask these before you book, because the answers vary widely and the cost is not always the number on the website. Do you charge a sliding scale based on income? Do you take my insurance, and if not, will you give me a receipt I can submit myself? Is the first consultation free? Do you see people by video? Have you worked with people grieving this kind of death?
That last question is worth asking plainly. Grief after a long illness, a sudden death, a suicide, an overdose, or the death of a child are not interchangeable, and someone who works with your kind of loss regularly will be easier to talk to than someone who does not.
You are allowed to change your mind after one session. Not every counselor suits every person, and leaving is not a failure or a rejection of the idea.
There is no schedule
Nobody can tell you how long this takes, and anyone who gives you a number is guessing. There is no stage you are late for and no point at which you are supposed to be finished. Grief tends to come in waves rather than in a line, and a hard week eighteen months on is not evidence that something has gone wrong.
You do not need to be in crisis to deserve help, and you do not need to have reached any threshold to be allowed to ask for it. If you want to talk to someone, that is reason enough on its own.
If what you are really asking is whether something is wrong, the useful signal is not about time. It is whether grief is stopping you doing the things you have to do: eating, sleeping, working, or looking after the people who depend on you. If it is, that is worth talking to someone about, whenever it starts and however long it has been going on.
If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, at any hour. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Common questions
Is grief counseling free?
Some of it is. A Medicare-certified hospice must make bereavement services available to the family for up to a year after the death (42 CFR 418.64(d)(1)(ii)). VA Vet Centers provide bereavement counseling to eligible military and veteran families at no cost. Many local groups run by hospitals, faith communities, and nonprofits are free. Private counseling usually is not free, though some counselors offer a sliding scale, so it is worth asking.
How do I find a grief support group near me?
Start with the hospice that cared for the person who died, then your local hospital, funeral homes in your area, faith communities, and local nonprofits. Ask whether the group is open to anyone or only to their own families, and whether there is a group for your specific kind of loss.
Does the VA offer grief counseling to families?
Yes, at no cost, for some families. VA Vet Centers offer bereavement counseling to family members of Armed Forces personnel who died in the service of the country, Reservists and National Guard members who died while on duty, and service members and veterans who died by suicide. Families of a veteran who was receiving Vet Center services at the time of death also qualify, but only where the death was unexpected or happened while the veteran was receiving hospice or similar care. Check that condition against your own situation before you call.
How long does grief last?
There is no set length and no schedule you are meant to keep to. It commonly comes in waves rather than steadily easing, and difficult days long after the death are ordinary rather than a sign that something is wrong. If what you are really asking is whether something is wrong, the signal is not about time: it is whether grief is stopping you eating, sleeping, working, or caring for people who depend on you. If it is, that is worth talking to someone about, whenever it happens. And if you simply want support at any point, that is reason enough on its own.
What is the difference between a support group and a grief counselor?
A support group is other bereaved people, usually meeting regularly, sometimes led by a trained facilitator and sometimes by peers. A grief counselor is a professional you see one to one. Groups are often free and counselors usually are not. Many people use both, and there is no order you are supposed to do them in.
Who do I call if I am in crisis right now?
Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is free and available at any hour. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
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